Progress

I don't blog anymore but I've been wanting to get together some progress photos for myself for a while and once I did it, I was pretty darn proud. I also posted a bit of a rant on Facebook awhile back after getting really annoyed with people wanting to know what 'magic potion' I was taking and had an old friend ask to see pictures.

Facebook Post:
I've lost enough weight (32lbs with another 25 to go) now that people are starting to comment on it, Thank you! However the next comment is alway along the lines of "what's your secret?" It drives me crazy, there is no supplement, or diet or magical workout. Eat fresh food and less crap. Say goodbye to the soda and hello to water, lots of water. Lift a lot of weights and make sure they are heavy. Don't leave the gym until you are soaking wet and you smell. When you're so sore you can't walk down the stairs, then you're doing something right. I call it literally working my ass off. That's my secret.

 Not sure I'd like them on Facebook but I'll share them here.

October 2010.

I was about to turn 32 and my 4th (and last) baby was 10 months old. Funny thing is I remember thinking I didn't think I was that big I just wanted to be healthier and more active. 

I was 204 lbs.

Yikes.

January 2011, Down 20 pounds, about 184. I did Jillian Michaels DVDs and the elliptical for 3 months and then started Couch to 10K in January.

Ragnar June 2011

I lost 5 more pounds down to 180 but losing weight when learning to run was very hard for me. Honestly I felt very skinny here but still struggled with emotional eating.

A ran about a 13 min mile here.

August 2011

178 pounds

Quit working out about this time.

Top pix are August 2011

Bottom pix are November 2011 in Hawaii

I had gained about 7 pounds back to 185.

Summer 2012

In 2012 I went back to college, worked out sporadically, ate well off and on.

We had family pictures taken in July and they are the first pictures I have ever had printed and felt I looked ok. I attribute that to the confidence I found in exercise.

October 2012

By my 34th birthday I had gained another 9 pounds back to 194. In my second semester of school I had an epiphany about how much I could actually accomplish when I put my mind to it. I had 4 kids and I was going to school full time and pulling a 3.7 GPA. Suddenly I knew I could lose more weight and then instead of thinking I needed it, I suddenly really wanted it.

I spent December 2012 planning what I wanted and how I would get there. 

I wanted to learn to run, not jog and walk. RUN. 

I wanted to learn to swim. I wanted to be 145 pounds. I wanted to keep up with my kids.  

I wanted to be strong. Not skinny. Strong.  

I didn't even take pictures because it wasn't really my main focus.

So I started the Couch to 5K program over for the 3rd time and I signed up for a swim class.

That swim class was possibly one of the best things I've ever done for myself. It was hard. It kicked my but every time. It challenged me and left me wanted to more.  My instructor was awesome! 

And the weight started falling off. 

So did the emotion baggage and lack of confidence and the depression.

I had also signed up for a Biggest Loser Contest at my gym in January. It help hold me accountable but they didn't give you any directions, it was all up to me. My first weigh in the 3rd week of January was 194, my last weigh in the 2nd week of March was 174. 

My pants were literally falling down and I needed a new belt. 

That was fun.

In April I hit a plateau and couldn't get past 170. So I took a step back and gave myself a little test to see if I could maintain the weight for a month.  I ate more and let myself have treats but I still went to the gym 5-6 days a week and kept on my running plan. 

By May I was ready to pick it up again and lost a few more pounds down to 166.4.

As fun as the number on the scale is to see, I have discovered that it is much more fun to jump in the pool and swim laps for 45 mins and not feel like I'm going to die. Fun is heading out for a run and not stopping until mile 3 for a walk break and then realizing it was only my head that thought I needed to walk because my body is fine and so I walk 1 min and then RUN another 3 miles. Fun is seeing my blood pressure go from 130/90 to 105/60 and my heart rate from 75 to 55 bpm. Fun is now running a 10 to 10:30 min mile.

Fun is having my 11 year old son want to go running with me and him not be able to keep up. (Because I let him go with me in 2011 and he would literally lap me until I was in tears and wouldn't allow him to go with me anymore.)  Fun is having my kids look at these pictures and say "Wow Mom! You've lost a lot of weight. I don't even remember you being big like that."

I have lost 37 pounds and would like to lose another 22. I will never say it's not about the number, get real, it is about the number, it may not be the number I originally thought but the number counts. It's about the fit of your clothes and putting on a swimming suit without shame. It's about feeling like you want to participate in life instead of sitting on the couch under a blanket. It's about learning you are stronger than you thought you were, you can push yourself harder than you knew you could. 

I never though I'd be that person getting up early to run and planning my day around the gym because it's is that important to me. But I am.  It's as simple as this...I could sit around being fat and taking antidepressants that don't really fix anything or I can exercise every day, feel great and be skinny.  I'll take the later. Trust me, the pain of working out is way better than the emotion pain of being the fat girl.

I think I'll try to update this with new pictures as I reach my goals this year, which are... 

*Ragnar-Wasatch Back in June

*The Huntsville Half Marathon in September

*And my original goal set back in December is to be 145 by my 35th birthday in October

Now Get Out and Be Awesome!

The weigh in wednesday that wasn't

I was supposed to weigh in today, I just realized I forgot. I never weigh in the middle of the day so maybe tomorrow. {Can you tell I'm not real confident about the number I'm going to see?}

I started doing Jackie Warner's Circuit training from her book.

Well...sort of.  I'm a little confused.

She says it should take you 30 minutes to go through the weight lifting circuit 3 times. Monday I made it through once in 25 minutes so today I put it into hyper drive and made it through twice in 42 minutes. ???  I've gotta have Barry read the instructions for me because I must be missing something.

I'd rather not think that I'm just THAT out of shape.

It's a great workout regardless.

As I  got in the car to take Sara to preschool I noticed our Kelty backpack/baby carrier hanging in the garage and decided to put Jake in it and go for a walk.

It took me about 30 minutes to clean the dust off of it {tells you how much we've used it}.  Jake was not at all happy about me putting him in it and buckling him up, but as soon as I went outside he settled down.

We have a lot of neighborhood trails that weave through the homes and a lot of mountain trails within 2 blocks of my house so I just wandered around the trails and ended up with 1.6 miles. I wore my new shoes to loosen them up a bit.

We had 4 sets of these babies.

Looking down into the valley.

  Looking up toward the Canyon I was suppose to run last week. I'm still not very happy about this. :(  Hopefully in 2 weeks my legs will be happy enough to let me do it.

As soon as we left the neighborhood and all the fun barking dogs {don't get me started on how much I dislike barking, fence attacking, roaming dogs} Jake decided to take a snooze.

Good workout Buddy!

Day 155

Yep, that's how long since I put my foot down and said, screw being fat! For real, it just had to get pissed off enough about it.  And then I lost 20 lbs and I wasn't angry anymore.

Did you know that anger can lead to good things?

It's true.

And you know what happened when I stopped being angry with myself?

I gained 3 pounds back.

It took me 2 months but at that rate we are talking 12 lbs a year and that's not really ok with me.
But heres the thing, I'm not really in that angry place anymore so I had to find something else. I searched and searched and then I went running last Saturday morning.

Somewhere in that 4 miles and through the shin pain I realized how happy I was. Not in general. Not my life is so great kind of happy. {ha! yeeeaaahhhhhhh, let me tell ya about my 'life' lately. sigh.....}

Just happy to be out running.  With Shin Pain. Happy that I could.

And that thought brought me back to the beginning.  My sister had sent out an email about running a race together and somewhere in it she said  'Because I Can'.

And suddenly it all made sense again.

*****

Today's Workout

Ran the canal road today. Ryan and his friend rode bikes along with me. 2.6 miles out and back. Shins screaming at me the whole second half. I've got to get some new shoes, it's crazzzzy to me that I have actually worn out these running shoes.

I had Barry's voice in my head the whole time, 'you don't really push yourself' which is his way of saying I don't really believe in myself. It's true. I give up too quickly. So today I only took 30 second walking breaks instead of 2 minutes.  Victory for the day!

Came home to the other 3 kids and a sleeping husband and re-established order in the house. ;) Then did this Leg Blaster workout for 25 minutes.  It's much harder with a 1 year old at your feet demanding your attention.

He's just going to have to learn that a healthy and fit mommy is a happy mommy!