Feeling Lost Right Now

I'm at my 1 year anniversary of my official journey to lose weight and get healthy and I'v been feeling so lost.  

I lost 18 pounds last Oct-Dec 2010 and then I focused on training for a RAGNAR race and maintained the weight loss.  The problem is, I gave myself permission to 'get lazy' over the summer.

 I thought it would be so easy to just jump right back in when the kids got back in school.  I did not realize it would feel like starting all over again.  I just can't seem to find my will power.  

Now I'm starting to freak out a bit because I have gained about 5 lbs since September and I Can NOT let this continue. 

I leave for Maui, Hawaii in one week and when I get back I plan to put it all out there again and start working hard.  I made a goal for myself last year to run a Half Marathon in 2012 and I will not let that goal go.  In fact I have to sign up while in Hawaii and my sister is doing it to, so that will help.  

My new goal weight will be 160.  I get excited just thinking about it!  I would love anyones support and advice!  Now I'm off to make a game plan so I can stick to it! 

New purpose?

I've been thinking about using this blog for more than just weight loss and fitness.  Sometimes I just have things on my mind that I want to write out and need a place to do it. A personal blog if you will, that doesn't really belong on our family blog. Not that I ever put anything over there anyway. :)


Barry and I have been working on our relationship...don't freak out...we've had a stressful few years and it was starting to affect us.  Neither of us liked the way we were acting and we've just decided to be proactive about it.   Anyway, all this 'Project: Happily Ever After" stuff (that's what I'm calling it) got me thinking about goal setting and planning and now I have this huge 2012 Goals list.


2012 Goals list has me a little intimidated but there was nothing I wanted to remove so now I'm working on breaking things down into monthly goals and sometimes weekly goals.  Yeah, I'm totally OCD like that.  Did I mention I have fitness training schedules for the whole next year and excel spreadsheets for household chores, tracking my weight, calorie counting, the families daily/weekly schedule etc, etc, etc.  I'm a little obsessive like that.  No, really it just helps me sort, process and organize my brain when I'm feeling overwhelmed. Sometimes I only come back to these spreadsheets once a year.


So my point was......I may start sharing other things going on in my life on this blog. Spiritual Goals, Fitness Goals, Marriage tips that work for us, Books I'm reading, School stuff and anything else that's going on with me.  And maybe while I'm at it I'll actually update some photo's of the family over on my other blog.  But don't hold your breath. :)


Here's is this month Goals and Fitness Calendar should that interest you.  I love when other people share this type of stuff, it's a little glimpse into there lives and I may have a innocent tendency to be voyeuristic, but my grandma always told me it was just people watching. ;)

Just Popping in to Say

I Ran Today!

and it sucked!

I knew it would. Hello? Haven't run since July!

How did that happen?

Funny thing is, as much as it sucked, if I forced myself to remember what that would have felt like 1 year ago than today's run was easy in comparison.

Which blows me away.

2.1 miles done, with lots of walking brakes but no stopping and no whining.

YOU

You are not your bra size, nor are you the width of your waist, nor are you the slenderness of your calves. You are not your hair color, your skin color, nor are you a shade of lipstick. Your shoe size is of no consequence. You are not defined by the amount of attention you get from males, females, or any combination thereof. You are not the number of sit-ups you can do, nor are you the number of calories in a day. You are not your mustache. You are not the hair on your legs. You are not a little red-dress. You are not the amalgam of these things.

You are the content of your character. You are the ambitions that drive you. You are the goals that you set. You are the things that you laugh at and the words that you say. You are the thoughts that you think and the things you wonder. You are beautiful and desirable not for the clique you attend, but for the spark of life within you that compels you to make your life a full and meaningful one. You are beautiful not for the shape of the vessel, but for the volume of the soul it carries.

2111 Challenge

This week I will do the following along with my normal workout routines-

1 Week:
10 Miles
100 Burpees
1000 Push Ups
1000 Ab Moves


I'm pretty sure it's going to kill me or render me useless but I'm gonna do it just Because I Can!

Finally

The Mister got up with my little guy at 6:30 this morning and let me sleep until 9.  He’s awesome like that.  I have been so exhausted the last few days. I think I’m fighting off whatever bug the kids all had last week.

When I got out of bed I was just feeling light. I walk into the bathroom and look in the mirror and it seems my stomach is flatter too.  Strange considering I felt huge Wednesday and decided to forgo my typical  weigh in.  

So I jump on the scale…..

179.8!!!

I screamed, jumped off and back on again just to be sure. Yep 179.8!  

I haven’t see the 170’s in about 3 years! In fact I’ve been stuck at 181-184 since January.

I know it’s bearly even there and I’m going to have to bust my butt to keep it going down, but just seeing that number has me so happy I can’t even describe it for you!

Monday I’m starting the 2111 Challenge (I'll write about that in a minute) combine with my regular workouts and I may in fact die if I see 177 which is my goal of 2lbs for the week.  We shall see!

Pretty much nothing could ruin my day now!

“Being fearless means busting down those walls of fear and being who you are, not who someone else thinks you are. People like to put others in a box and tell them what they can and cannot do or who they can and cannot be. No one can tell you who you are and what you are made of, only you yourself know what you are made of, and only you yourself can do the work to become who you want to be.”

— Mariska Hargitay